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Spanking Positions: Best Sexual Types & BDSM Tools For You To Try

Spanking Positions

Spanking is an age-old practice that has formed part of sex for centuries, and it remains a popular pastime for those looking to add a little extra spice to their bedroom routine. Despite popular opinion, however, spanking is not as simple as heading straight in to discipline your partner; this is something of an art form that requires finesse, experience and experimentation to find the perfect position to guarantee pleasure. To help ensure that you have a spanking session to remember, we have put together all you need to know about the best spanking positions and how they can help you enhance your sex life and increase your pleasure.

Spanking Psychology

Before we take a look at the details of the best spanking positions, it is worth taking a moment to consider the psychology of spanking; that is, why it is so important, and the benefits it can offer individuals and couples on the hunt for sexual pleasure.

According to experts, there are a number of reasons that spanking appeals to participants, and some of these include:

  • Power Play

The most common reason for enjoying spanking is a love of power play and, in particular, relinquishing power to a partner during sexual acts. The key here is trust in the relationship – those who enjoy handing over power are mostly only happy to do so in situations where they have total trust and respect for a partner, rather than enjoying spanking as part of a random hook-up or encounter with a stranger.

  • Receiving Physical Pain

Many participants also state that their love of spanking goes hand in hand with a love of receiving physical pain. Unlike unwanted pain, such as suffering an injury or stubbing a toe, the pain associated with sexual spanking is often described as a “good” pain, which results in arousal and sexual desire, increasing pleasure and leading to orgasm and sexual satisfaction.

  • Altered State Of Consciousness

In some cases, fans of spanking have likened the experience of being spanked to entering a meditative or relaxing state, and claim that the practice allows them to enter an altered mental state filled with peace and tranquility.

In addition to these points, the psychological impacts of spanking are often linked to physical and physiological processes that occur in the body during the act of spanking. When pain is inflicted, this can cause a rush of endorphins – the hormones responsible for helping us to feel pleasure. In addition, being spanked around the pelvic region or on the rear end causes blood to rush to this area – this mimics the sensation of sexual arousal, resulting in an urge to engage in sexual practices and intercourse.

As participants increase their exposure to spanking in a sexual environment, this connection then becomes more enhanced, and the link between spanking and sexual pleasure increases as the association grows and develops. This means that spanking fans are more likely to reach for this practice to get their sexual kicks, and enjoy the pleasure that arises as a result.

Spanking comes in various forms, and it is important to ensure that you are both on the same page before proceeding – we will explore this in more detail in just a moment.


Couple Conversation

Communication is a crucial element of spanking and any type of BDSM play – whether open mouth gags or knots and bondage. It is imperative that you maintain clear, honest and open lines of communication with your partner throughout any type of sexual play or act, and this is particularly important when you are preparing to engage in acts that have the potential to cause pain or discomfort. 

Before starting or trying anything new in the bedroom, you need to have an open and honest conversation with your partner, and these tips can help you to achieve this.

  • Discuss What Works

Start your conversation by discussing the elements of your sex life that are working for you – which practices are you enjoying, and looking forward to participating in? When do you feel at your sexiest, and enjoy the greatest pleasure? By having an idea of what really works for you and your partner, you can gain a better perspective of the direction you would both be comfortable moving in.

  • Discuss What Doesn’t Work

In a similar vein, it is crucial that you have an honest chat about anything that is not working for you – if there is anything your partner has done or suggested that doesn’t quite hit the spot, be open and upfront about this. This is also a chance to set boundaries, and make it crystal clear what you are and are not okay with.

  • Discuss Your Fantasies

Once you have clear boundaries and non-negotiables, it is time to turn the conversation to your fantasies. Be open with one another and share your ideas, fantasies and anything that you would like to try out. You may find that your partner is a bit worried about certain aspects of erotic spankings, and this conversation will help to clear the air and set expectations in place.

Depending on your relationship, it can help to have a set of rules or boundaries written out in physical form, and signed by both parties – this helps to establish a clear set of limits, and writing up the contract can be something that you enjoy as a couple.

Safe Word

A safe word is a non-negotiable when you are practicing spanking or any other type of BDSM sex play, and should be set up and established well in advance. A safe word refers to a specific word or phrase that one partner can say and use at any time in the proceedings, and all action immediately stops. If restrained, the partner is released from their restraints, any spanking stops immediately, and the partner is given the space and support they need.

You need to make sure that your safe word is something that would not ordinarily arise during the course of your session, and it is therefore super clear that you are asking for the action to cease. Make sure that you both know the safe word in advance, and that you are both happy to proceed before starting.

Types Of Spanking

Spanking Types

As we mentioned, spanking comes in a range of types and styles, and we took a closer look at some of the best types of spanking, and how they can impact different spanking positions.

  • Erotic Spanking

Erotic spanking is spanking that tends to be given before or after sex, with the intended goal of eliciting sexual arousal in the recipient. In some cases, erotic spanking may be used in place of sex, depending on the preferences of the couple involved.

  •  Punishment Spanking

Punishment spanking is usually incurred as a penalty or consequence for bad behavior – if your partner has failed to follow an instruction, has disobeyed an order or has in some other way misbehaved, then you may choose to inflict punishment spanking as a reminder not to repeat this unwanted or undesirable behavior.

Punishment spanking differs from disciplinary spanking; the latter tends to focus on considering instruction for future behavior, while punishment spanking focuses on behavior that has already occurred.

  • Therapeutic Spanking

Therapeutic, or stress relieving spanking, is used to help an individual to release emotions that are unhealthy, and that have built up in the body. In this type of spanking, the endorphins that are released during the process and sensation of spanking help to alleviate and drive out any unhealthy or toxic emotions that have built up, replacing them with a high that leaves the recipient satisfied and happy. This can also be useful when it comes to pain management, as the endorphins produced can help to alleviate pain and discomfort.

  •  Roleplay Spanking

As the name suggests, roleplay spanking tends to occur as part of a roleplay, and may be used as part of obedience training or corporal punishment in a master/slave or dominant/submissive roleplay. The nature of this type of spanking can vary depending on the roleplay scenario agreed by the couple, and it is imperative that you maintain open, clear communication at all times. This type of spanking also works great with a range of sex toys, such as these, which can enhance and improve your overall experience.

Remember that spanking does not always have to be sexual – this can also be a way for couples to bond and feel closer.

Best Spanking Positions

Now that we have considered the main elements of spanking, it is time to take a closer look at the best spanking positions favored by couples and individuals. From classic corporal punishment to domestic discipline, read on to learn more.

Bending Over

When many of us think of spanking, the bent-over position is typically the first thing that comes to mind, but there are a number of variations to this classic move.

  • Bent Over A Surface

One of the most popular spanking positions is bent over a surface – one person bends their partner over a surface, and the person to be spanked bends at the waist, leaning over a tabletop, bedside or similar. The spanker then positions themselves behind the partner, or to the side, and uses hands or other tools to spank their partner – this allows the spanker quite a lot of freedom and flexibility in terms of speed and intensity.

  • Bent Over Without A Surface

Good spanking can also take place without the use of a hard surface, but this does rely on the person being spanked having a strong core. This position involves one partner standing behind their partner, forcing the latter to bend at the waist. It can be useful to have something to hold onto, such as the back of a chair or the edge of a table, as this allows the person being spanked to brace themselves and push back for more impact.

Over The Knee

Over The Knee

Another of the classic spanking positions involves one partner being bent over their partner’s knee or lap, and this tends to be what most people think of when they consider spanking. The classic spanking technique involves the spanker sitting on the edge of a chair or bed, and then the person to be spanked lays over the knee or lap, stomach facing down and head hanging down towards the floor. In some cases, the partner to be spanked may use the floor as a support, or kneel on another object to allow the spanker proper leverage, and place them at the perfect angle to spank with an open hand or other tool.

  • Straddling The Leg

Another popular variation of the over-the-knee involves the spankee straddling the leg of the spanker, and this is very popular with fans of domestic discipline. The spanker sits on the edge of a bed or chair, and the person to be spanked leans forward, under the arm of the spanker, and they can then be restrained fairly easily by the spanker, making this an arousing position. For women, the clitoris is exposed, increasing the chance of orgasm, while men are likely to find pleasure as their genitals are compressed against the leg of the spanker.

When laid across the spanker’s lap, make sure that you are both comfortable and balanced before getting started – this will reduce the risk of injury and ensure that the focus is on pleasure.

On Hands & Knees

On Hands And Knees

Another popular position for spankings is for the spankee to get down on their hands and knees, allowing spankings to occur from behind. Once again, this places the spankee in a vulnerable position which can be arousing and is perfect if you plan to enjoy doggy-style sex following the spanking. The person to be spanked gets on the floor or on a table, and uses their hands and knees to support their body, creating a shape similar to a bridge – use a soft throw or sex cushion if you experience discomfort. The spanker goes behind or two the side, and starts hitting the backside of the spankee using a hand or toy, whichever is preferred.

  • Kneeling On Haunches

Another adaptation of this hands and knees position is kneeling on haunches – here, the man or woman to be spanked gets down to kneel on their knees, and can opt to form an “L” shape with their upper or lower legs, or else kneel so that their haunches are just above their feet, and their butt is pushed back towards the spanker, making hitting accurately easier. This is ideal for partners who enjoy using sex toys such as floggers or paddles, in addition to an open palm.

Lying Down

Lying Down

Another popular position for spankings is a lying down option – as the name suggests, the spankee lies down, which offers a wide range of variations and options to enjoy that bruised butt. The pupil can lie on the floor or other flat surface – the top of the bed works well – and the spanker then stands to the side or kneels above the body to deliver spankings. The position depends largely on the preferences of the couple. This is a great option for partners who enjoy using longer toys and tools such as whips and canes.

Spankers can also lay their partner flat over their knee or lap while they stand or sit, and spank from above.


Standing may seem like a strange position for a spank, but when done properly, it can offer great access to the butt. There are a number of ways to enjoy the act from a standing position, and some of these include:

  • Standing Bent At The Waist

As the description suggests, this involves one partner standing in front of the other, and the person to be spanked will then bend at the waist, upper body hanging down and touching toes, or as close as possible. Once their butt is in position, the spanker can begin to hit that sweet spot – this works well if you have the spanker sit on a chair beside their partner, or stand beside the person to be spanked; the position will depend largely on the size and height of the individuals.

  • Leaning 

Another option for a great spanking position is to have the submissive lean against a wall or other tall, hard surface, leaving the full body exposed along the back. This can be perfect for targeting the upper thighs as well as the butt, and works well for punishment spanking.

Standing and leaning can be great forms of punishment and discipline for those new to spanking, and with the right tool, can offer amazing results.


The wheelbarrow is one of the particularly popular positions for those receiving punishments, and when done correctly, this has the potential to hurt in all the right ways, as well as being perfect for administering discipline to an unruly partner. As the name suggests, this involves the submissive placing their hands on the floor, with the shoulders and upper part of the body down, and the legs lifted up and placed on a higher level. This is best left to an experienced spanker, as it can be a strong sensation and a little uncomfortable for those new to spanking.

Diapering/On The Back

Another popular option is diapering, or on the back – this is popular in parent/children roleplay, and sees the “child” lie on their back, legs straight up, while the parent uses a tool, toy or hand to deliver a spanking – perfect if you are looking to discipline naughty children.

Erotic Spanking Tools

In addition to finding the perfect position for your spanking, it is also important that you have the right spanking implements, and we have a few of the best options below.

  •  Paddles
Erotic Spanking Paddle

Paddles are a key for anyone interested in getting started with spanking, and should be essential in every toolkit. These are easy to use and control, and can be adapted and used in most of the popular spanking positions. Paddles have a wide surface area, and are typically rectangular in shape, though many – like these – have additions such as ridges or slots to add an extra edge, and they can come in a variety of materials for extra choice.

  • Floggers
Flogger For Spanking

Floggers are another popular choice, and consist of a handle with long lengths of fabric at the end, which are usually made of leather. These are a great step up from paddles, and sensations can range from a gentle tap to a serious sting – our flogger reviews will help you to get a better understanding of what is on offer.

  • Whips
Whip For Spanking

Whips are similar to floggers, but tend to have just one strip attached to the end of the handle. They are usually longer, allowing for greater flexibility and versatility, and the impact can range from a light tickle to a more intense burn – there are plenty of variations to choose from, so get experimenting!

  • Canes

For those looking for a little extra sting, a cane is the perfect choice – but these are not advised for beginners. Canes can be made from wood, leather, plastic or other materials, and will certainly get the blood rushing to all the required areas.

  • Belts

You can also use belts for spanking, but as with canes, these are not for the faint-hearted – it is best to leave these until you have built up a little experience and confidence.

Why not increase the intensity of your spanking session by investing in a sex swing to take your experience to the next level?

Frequently Asked Questions

Spanking refers to the act of striking another person with an open hand or other toy, usually for the purpose of releasing tension or for sexual pleasure. It can take a number of forms, and is a great way to spice up your sex life and try something new and enjoyable.

The best BDSM spanking positions can vary depending on the couple, but top options tend to include being on all fours, bending over a surface or bending from a standing position or lying on a flat surface while your partner spanks you. Ultimately, you must always ensure that you and your partner are on the same page before proceeding with any positions.

Spanking is sexual for a number of reasons, but the rush of the blood to the impacted region tends to be a major sexual turn-on, as this releases endorphins that boost mood. Spanking also encourages the spanked partner to relinquish control, and this can be a major source of arousal for those who are into BDSM and power play.


The best spanking positions are ultimately those that help you and your partner get to the same place, and it can take time and experimentation to find the perfect combination for you. The key is to ensure that you maintain open, honest communication – this will help you both enjoy the pleasure of spanking, and the doors that the practice can unlock.

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