The world of bondage is one that is all too often misunderstood by the uninitiated and can be portrayed in a less than flattering light by mainstream media. When done correctly, however, bondage can be an amazing way to try something new and connect with your partner on a deeper level. It is also worth noting that “bondage” is a broad term, designed to cover a huge range of ideas, practices, and equipment. What works for one couple or individual may not automatically be the best fit for you and that’s ok; part of bondage is discovering what you do and don’t like, unlocking new opportunities for fun, and knowing your boundaries. To start with the basics, we will discuss how to tie bondage knots safely and correctly – who knows where this knowledge has the potential to lead?
While it is only fairly recently that bondage has hit the mainstream, the ideas, practices and techniques stretch back. When most people think of bondage their mind goes straight to BDSM – an acronym for Bondage and Discipline, Dominance and Submission, and Sadism and Masochism. An immediate interpretation to those less in the know may think it automatically involves wild, kinky sex, complete with a plethora of whips and chains. While for some participants this may feel an accurate representation of their practice, it is important to stress that everyone is unique, and may interpret bondage in a number of different ways. The art of tying up your partner, for example, started as a form of punishment, before moving on to performance art.
Shibari
Shibari is the Japanese art of rope bondage and is often considered to be one of the building blocks of bondage as we understand it today. “Shibari” translates as “the beauty of tight binding”, and is a practice that can be dated back to the 13th century. Here, it was intended as a method of restraining captives, but it became sexualized by the 19th century, and increased in popularity in the 1970s, courtesy of a photographer named Nobuyoshi Araki. The practice soon made its way across the globe as an erotic art form, and emerged as the BDSM and bondage practice we recognize now.
Shibari may also be known as “kinbaku” – if you see this described, it is likely referring to the same practice.
Types Of Bondage Rope
Bondage ropes are separated into two main types and materials – natural and synthetic. Ultimately, the best option depends on your personal preferences, as both have their advantages and disadvantages.
Natural Ropes
Rope Material
Pros
Cons
Hemp
- Very traditional, and the common option for Shibari
- Very natural
- Good range of diameter ranges and color options
- Can be stiff before first use and needs to be broken in
- Expensive
- Can cause allergic reactions
Jute
- Quality improves with every use
- Easy to unknot
- Can be dyed if desired
- Has a natural smell
- Popular with Shibari
- Washing can degrade the fibers
- Needs to be broken in
- Slower to knot
- Expensive
Cotton
- Strong but soft
- Slight elasticity
- Does not cause allergic reactions or rope burns
- Can stretch over time
- Knots can get very tight – not the best option for beginners
Silk
- Flexible and soft
- Offers moderate friction
- Amazing sensations
- Does not stretch too far
- Quite expensive
- Friction may not be enough for some users
Linen/Flax
- Easy to knot
- Good strength and flexibility
- No risk of allergies
- Does not need to be broken in
- Expensive
- Can be tricky to clean
Bamboo
- Flexible and soft
- Feels very luxurious
- Antibacterial properties
- Less grip than silk
- Expensive
Synthetic Ropes
Rope Material
Pros
Cons
Nylon, Paracord, Polyester (AKA Nylon Rope)
- Very smooth and soft
- Offers great durability
- Does not cause an allergic reaction
- Easy to find
- Easy to keep clean
- Can be slippery
- Can cause rope burns
- Knots can be tight
Synthetic hemp
- Cheaper than natural hemp
- Knots do not get too tight
- Good for suspension
- Does not cause allergic reaction
- Easy to keep clean
- Can shed
- Not many color options
Multifilament Polypropylene
(MFP)
- Good strength
- Low friction
- Soft and smooth
- No allergies
- Good range of colors
- Easy to find
- Cannot be used for suspension
- Can cause rope burns
Visit our other posts to find the best rope for bondage, bondage collar and bondage kit.
Basic Knots For Beginners
Once you have chosen the best material for tying, it is time to consider how you would like to be tied! There are a range of knotting options available, depending on your experience and levels of comfort, but it is worth getting the basic knots under your belt before trying to move onto any more complicated techniques.
Simple Wrist Tie/Single Column Tie
One of the first ties you will learn, the single column forms the basis of many more complex ties.
- Create a bight (a loop of rope) by folding your rope in half in the middle
- Take your partners wrist, and wrap the doubled length around the wrist at least twice
- Take the bight, and turn it to a right angle, over the wraps
- Hold your bight, and use the other end of the rope to create a loop
- Run your bight through the loop, and then back under the wraps
- Put your bight back through the loop, and pull the loose ends to close the knot
Double Column Tie
A variation on the single column tie, this is another great basic to get you started.
- Start by placing your wrists a couple of inches apart
- Make a bight in the rope by folding it in half in the middle
- Pass the loose tails of the rope through the bight, creating a “larks head”
- Take the rope, and place the “larks head” around both wrists
- Place the arms a good distance apart
- Wrap the remaining loose ends around the wrists, working in the opposite direction to the bight, until you have run out of rope
- Pull the rope between the wrists, and back around to the front
- Tie the ends together with a rope of your choice
Frog Tie
An ideal option for binding legs or arms together, this one takes a little more practice.
- Create a bight by folding your rope in half in the middle
- Create a larks head bypassing the tails of the rope through the bight
- Choose the limb you want to bind, and place the larks head around it
- Wrap the rest of the rope around the limb, in the opposite direction to the bight
- Feed the working end through the bight, and pull the tails until everything is snug
- Tuck the tails in, and feed them through to the other side
- Tuck the tails under the wraps, and pull them gently to the desired tightness
- Tuck them back under to lock them in place
Bondage Doggy
If you are in the mood for some doggy-style fun, this is a top option.
- Start by placing your partner on their knees, chest flat on a surface, and buttocks in the air.
- Gently pull their arms back, and tie their wrists together behind the thighs, to the ankles – this is ideal for anal, vaginal, and oral penetration.
If this position is uncomfortable for your partner, you can place a pillow under their chest to raise the level up a little.
Safety First: What To Remember With Bondage Knots
As with any BDSM activity, there are a number of safety considerations to take into account when you are using bondage knots – this is especially important if you are new to restraint play and rope bondage.
Reduce Your Pressure
One of the most important things to remember with erotic bondage is not to put too much pressure on the skin – ideally, you should be able to place a minimum of two fingers between the rope and the skin. This is especially important if you are new to rope bondage – you can always increase the intensity as you grow in confidence.
Keep Scissors Close
It is important that you keep a knife or scissors close by, just in case you need to quickly cut through a knot and free your partner. Even basic knots can go wrong, and inanimate objects do not always work the way you would expect, so make sure you have something to free your partner and remove injury or panic.
Safe Words
As with any form of BDSM or bondage, you and your partner must have safe words set up before you get started, and that you are both comfortable using them.
Remember: open, honest communication is essential for an enjoyable and successful playtime.
More Advanced Options
Once you have mastered the basics of knot ties, you can move on to trickier techniques.
The Crab
Looking for a way to access the entirety of your partner? The crab is a great option. Bend your partner’s legs, and tie their ankles and thighs together on one leg, and then the other. For a little extra, you can also try tying the wrists to the thighs – make sure that you are both comfortable before proceeding to this.
The Spoon
Another option to help you feel close to your partner is to have one party lay on their side, and the other uses a basic knot – wrist ties – to connect the left ankle to the right thigh, and the left thigh to the upper arm biceps. This is the perfect position for spooning and will have the added advantage of ensuring that your partner’s body looks amazing.
Hogtie
These ties are another popular pick, especially for oral penetration. Lay your partner on their stomach, and tie their ankles and wrists behind their back. Then, work on tying the ankles and wrists together. It should be noted that this position can be very tough on the back and shoulders, especially if you have not built up muscle memory. Over time, working on flexibility will help you to retain this position for longer.
Frequently Asked Questions
What Is Shibari?
Shibari is the Japanese art of rope bondage, adapted from a 13th-century punishment. Over the years, it evolved and adapted to take on sexual connotations, and by the 1970s was firmly established as a type of performance art that gained popularity all across the globe, including in forms of bondage we recognize today.
What Are Some Simple Bondage Knots For Beginners?
Some simple bondage knots for beginners include double column ties as well as the single column tie. These two options form the building blocks of most ties – most of the body consists of two columns, and if you have the right knowledge, you can use bondage rope to create a sensation that feels amazing.
What Is The Best Rope To Use In Bondage?
The best rope to use in bondage is the one that is the most comfortable option for you. There are two main types of rope: natural and synthetic, and each has its own pros and cons, including flexibility and risk of rope burn. It is worth experimenting with a range of materials and ties to find the best option.
What Are The Best Bondage Knots For Breasts?
The best bondage knots for breasts include the box tie knot – not only does this keep your partner in place, but it is one of the best options to allow you full access to the nipples, and for your partner to enjoy the full range of sensations you have to offer.
Conclusion
From double column ties to the Burlington Bowline, learning how to tie bondage knots is an essential part of starting your BDSM journey. Whether you prefer tying or being tied, erotic bondage can be one of the building blocks to a wider bondage experience – feel free to experiment with ties, find your favorite knot and search Google for videos – the web is awash with quality instruction, and most ties will be covered in detail.